• Family,  Paradox

    My Home

    Autobiography Part 5

    I was born in Denver Colorado, after I turned one we moved to Atkinson; but we lived outside of town. When I was six years old we moved into town. Every time we moved; I liked the next house more that the first. I loved our home at the ranch and was sad to move, but then I started to like our next home even more (after we got all of the bats out of the house of course). It wasn’t just because of the house itself that I liked it, it was because of the life it gave me. When we moved, we met our neighbors and have been good friends ever since. Also, I lived closer to my friend, Paisley, and I got to see her more often out of school. We also started home schooling in that house, which was a big–but great–change.

    Here’s the thing: Our house was the oldest house in town. Most of the people in the town thought we were crazy for wanting to move in. There wasn’t a single room in the house that we didn’t redo, and it took a very long time. Like I said, we moved in when I was six years old, and we finished the house when I was ten. That is a LONG time. But after all that time it was finished, and we even had an open house at our house and everyone in town was invited to come see our house as it was completely remodeled.

    Our house was finished around Christmas time. When May came, the big news hit: We were moving again. This time, we were moving to Thailand. There were a lot of tears shed that night. I remember my mom calling us for a family meeting. I asked her if it was good news and she just said, “I think so”.  I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it was not that. Everyone was sad, but I think we were all a little bit happy too. Even if we didn’t say we were happy, I think that there was a little bit of happiness somewhere.

    Then the journey began. We started fundraising by telling our friends and preaching in churches (this was mostly my parents work). Our church even hosted us a goodbye party and gave us a great farewell. We gave up a lot. I gave up dance, which was really hard for me. My dad gave up his business. And we all gave up things like our family, friends, and home. Even though it was hard, we made the most of it and came to Thailand feeling hopeful. We knew that this is where God wanted us to be, and we knew that new friends and a new life was waiting for us in Thailand. 

    Packing took a long time and a lot of effort. We had to think of all the things that we were going to want but we were also limited, so we had to think of all the things that we were going to need. Think about when you go on a trip and you must pack all your things. You are worried that you don’t have everything, and you must make sure you haven’t forgotten anything because you are not going to be back for some time. Well, think about that but you are not going to be back for two years! We had to make sure we got everything! When we got to the airport, we officially had thirteen checked bags and six carry-on suitcases. We also each had a back-pack on our back. We are a family of six, so that means we had a total of 25 bags!

    We had three flights. The first flight was from Omaha to Detroit, the second flight was from Detroit to South Korea, and the third flight was from South Korea to Chiang Mai, Thailand. When we made it to Chiang Mai it was pretty late at night and we were all so tired that we could barely stay awake. We all were ready to get to our house and fall asleep. When we got to our new house some of the other missionaries gave us bed sheets and other things like shampoo and conditioner. Then, for the next week or two, missionaries took turns helping us shop for things that we would need and showing us their favorite places to get food. After a while, we started to finally settle in and Thailand slowly started to feel like home. 

    I have lived in Thailand for one year now, and I love it here. Even though I miss a lot of things in America, I think that I could live in Thailand for a long time.

    PS. If you want to see our house in Atkinson, Nebraska for yourself, you can! Since we aren’t living in it right now, it is an airbnb for people to stay at. Check it out here:

    Airbnb “American Dream” Historic Home

  • Culture

    Lantern Festival

    My blog post is about Loy Krathong. Loy Krathong is a lantern festival in Thailand.

    We made our own krathongs that float on water. Khru Em taught us how to fold the banana leaves.

    Afterwards, they made us traditional Thai food called “pink noodles.” They are called pink noodles because they are pink.

    After we ate, they taught us a dance.

    We put our krathongs on the canal behind our house. We didn’t put incense in it, because we are not buddhists.

    Also, we saw floating lanterns in the sky.

    We didn’t float a lantern up, but we did find one that came down. When a buddhist person sends a lantern up, they are floating their sins away. I don’t believe that we can float our sins away, I think the only way you can be saved from your sins is by believing in Jesus Christ. So I didn’t mind that someone else’s “sin lantern” fell near me and I was not afraid to touch it.

  • Family,  Paradox

    Grace enough for this mom, too.

    It is easy and fun to post pictures of our accomplishments when we are “ahead of the curve.” Like in 2019, when we dug in and worked hard to finish all of our homeschool goals in April before leaving for China to meet our Tallulah. Or 2020, when COVID shut downs left our homeschool days virtually unscathed. Or 2021 and 2022, when Selah set us a family goal to be done with school before her May birthday and we willingly complied with her request. It was an easy goal, we were on track to do so anyway.

    It is now 2023. It is November. And we only just finished up the coursework that we’ve typically wrapped up in April or May. That is 6 months behind schedule for us, so it seems strange to take a picture…let alone post it for anyone to see. But in the spirit of #keepingitreal, here it is:

    In a discussion I had about homeschool curriculum recently, it occurred to me that I have experience teaching all grades PreK-8. I’ve used the same Language Arts curriculum all along the way for every one of my kids (including various editions of the coursework as they were updated along the way). I suppose that means I’m your girl if you are looking for “mom who has experience homeschooling her kids using The Good and the Beautiful Curriculum.” Granted, that is a pretty specific niche of the world to claim expertise in, but I have found that I do indeed have plenty of advice to share as a part of a Facebook group or two.

    Something I like about the homeschooling Facebook groups I am a part of is that people are genuinely asking for advice and help. When someone posts a question about the fourth grade concept they are struggling to understand themselves so that they can help their struggling child, others jump in within seconds offering exhaustive explanations, even posting pictures with steps written out or correct answers highlighted. There are always others who chime in with words of encouragement or at least a little huggy heart emoji, and rarely do you see any condescension or accusation. It is such a beautiful community of mothers who are taking responsibility for every aspect of their children’s education.

    I am not on Facebook often enough (or in the right time zone) to be a part of most of those conversations, but I have chimed in several times when someone is asking for thoughts about the schedule they have put together for their day or sharing the list of curriculum they are about to purchase and the big question: “Does this cover everything?” I often have relevant input to offer regarding their specific schedule or curriculum selections, but most of my comments also include something along the lines of: “…but that is a lot, so be sure to give yourself plenty of grace if you can’t get it all accomplished each day!” Sure there are some who might seem not to be doing not quite enough regarding their kids academic development. However, what I see far more often is get-it-done, do-it-all homeschool moms like myself who pile too much on the plate and are in danger of forgetting to leave time for conversation, creativity, and the breaks that are sometimes needed for emotional processing when things just feel hard. It is easy to forget the WHY of homeschooling when we get caught up in the HOW.

    I chime in when moms ask what do to at the end of the school year: “We aren’t done with level 1, can we just move on to level 2 so my daughter isn’t behind a grade level?” My advice is always DON’T SKIP it! There is so much good stuff at the end of each academic year: like wrapping up word lists, conducting final comparative assessments, the bigger creative writing assignments, and the sense of accomplishment they feel when finally getting through the “Personal Reader” that seemed so thick when they first cracked it open. I might say, “Sure you have the option to wrap it up early if you are just really burned out…but please don’t do it just for the sake of perception regarding grade level!”

    I’ve also been known to comment on questions like: “My son is in second grade but reads at a 5th grade level, can we skip ahead a few levels to be sure she is challenged?” My advice, based on plenty of experience, is again DON’T SKIP! There are so many age-appropriate things to learn through the educational process besides just reading more advanced books. We’ve always just chosen more advanced literature for the personal reading time of our school day and taken confident baby steps when the concepts came easily.

    Anyway, I say all of that simply to tell you that I decided to heed my own advice this year, and we didn’t skip a thing when we got colossally behind. We plugged away when we could, let life derail us when it insisted, and then plugged away again. I know that if it were some other homeschool mama living my life, I would have told her to relax and take the breaks needed for all the “life” that is happening. I might have said to her, “Give yourself some grace for the time being and jump back in when you find some semblance of normal that allows it (even if it is only a few days at a time).” And so, this time, I gave myself that grace as well. And I continue to do so daily.

    We needed an extra 6 months, but I am glad we did not skip anything and I am also glad we took the time. We are all grateful to finally be moving on, though, too! Jeremiah shared one of his final writing assignments from Level 3 the other day, which you can read here. As a part of her Level 6 requirements, Selah practiced all kinds of prewriting strategies in order to create a series of autobiographical sketches then compile them into an autobiography. Part 1 is available here now and she plans to post the rest in pieces as she is able to add photos and re-format her writing for the blog.

    Josiah actually finished his 8th grade curriculum before we moved to Thailand which is why he is not in the photo above. He has been working on high school language arts for the past several months, and I’ve asked him to share a recent “Insights Essay” he wrote on the blog as well. Potato chips and animal humor are more his M.O., but his talent is multi-faceted and deep. I pray his short essay will bless your heart as it did mine (I’ll try to remember to link it here when he publishes it). I do hope Tallulah will be included in our next photo as well: she is working hard on her letter sounds and may soon be ready for an adapted approach to this classical curriculum.

    Homeschooling is not always easy: it involves so much input with very little recognition. But there are also days when these kids bless my socks off with the people they are becoming, the work they are producing, and ways they are thinking. I have the best seat in the house from which to watch it all unfold…but I am happy to give you all a glimpse as well 🙂

  • Adventures,  Family

    Joni & Friends International Special Needs Retreat

    A few weeks ago we went to this family retreat and I was chosen to tell you about it. We heard about it from our friends and they told us it’s the highlight of their year. The camp is for families with kids with disabilities or special needs. This one was specifically designed to support Missionary families. We got to go since Tallulah has Down Syndrome. Four other kids at the camp also had Down Syndrome. There were fifteen families there from all over the world (South Africa, Taiwan, Cambodia, and all over Thailand) and all of them had kids with disabilities.

    The retreat was Tuesday evening until Saturday afternoon. It was at a resort on a mountain and it was really nice. We shared a duplex cabin with another family but we had the bigger side. As soon as we looked around we found out we would be sharing the cabin with tree frogs and hundreds of ants but that isn’t very different from our house in Doi Saket (trade the frogs for countless geckos) so we didn’t care too much after we took the tree frog off the wall of Mom and Dad’s room. Although the frogs outside the windows every night were extremely loud. During the day, the frogs sounded like small dogs yapping from inside a house.

    The camp is designed to give the parents a break, so every kid had an assigned buddy to spend the week with. Right when we got there we met our buddies.

    As you can see, Tallulah loved her buddy Leighanna.

    My buddy Andrei was was sixteen and liked reading and playing games. He did not enjoy dancing and that was completely fine with me. We watched the dance party together.

    Jeremiah had a lot of fun with Nathan and Selah loved Brenna.

    We were with our buddies at every meal, devotions, and during afternoon activities. After breakfast each morning, we would go to the meeting room and worship. After the parents left for their morning sessions, the teens would go into the neighboring building. There we would play games, watch videos, and make silly reenactments to bible stories. After morning activities we went back to the main building for lunch. Then from 1:00 to 4:00 we had free time to do what ever we wanted with our buddies: swimming, hike up to the cafe, play games, or just talk. Then the buddies would have time off for an hour to shower or change before dinner.

    After dinner, we would go and do a group activity. One night we had a huge Minute to Win It competition. Tallulah had a ton of fun playing the Hungry Hungry Hippos game. Having people cheer her on while she mopped up the floor with her shirt was sure Tallulah’s idea of a good time. Jeremiah’s very flexible nose was put to good use in the cookie face challenge. Selah played a good toilet paper mummy, and dad finally put his skill of balloon blowing to good use.

    The next night, there was a formal dinner for the parents while the kids had dinner and a dance party.

    The last night was a talent show. There was everything from singing to reciting things from memory (like basketball players, car models, or pi) to magic to comedy skits! Selah and Tallulah did a clogging dance. There was also a Dad Joke Contest….and my dad won.

    Overall it was a ton of fun and we will definitely go next year.

  • Family,  Life in Thailand,  Paradox

    Get Used To Different

    It has been over a month since my last post and a quick scroll down the homepage would say it is my “turn”. But words are coming hard for me. Everything is. Life just feels hard right now, but it is difficult for me to explain just how or why, beyond anecdotal examples of the small daily frustrations I encounter here and there. I think it is because everything is different. Not all bad. Not all good. But very different.

    As a homeschooling mother, my main job right now is to re-establish the routine of the homeplace: basically doing the same things I’ve always done in a new place. But it is hard to do the same thing when everything is different. Knocked out of my rhythm, I feel a bit off-balance and even small daily tasks require too much attention and decision. Right now I struggle to think of a single thing I do each day that is the same as it has always been. EVERYTHING is different.

    The sounds are different: different birds, different bugs…bigger. Different words and voices and songs.

    The smells are different. I hear the rain and open the windows: but can’t find the smell I always knew. A smell I fail to even remember well enough to describe: help me friends…was it grass? soil? With something sweet? I don’t really know how to describe it here either, just different.

    The flavors are different. We might find butter, chocolate, avocados: but in your mouth they aren’t familiar. There is a subtle nuance in flavors such that basic comfort foods fail to deliver. I am working to adapt to new staple ingredients, but new ingredients mean new recipes, new utensils, new pans, new methods. For some that might sound fun. For this cook and grocery shopper, I admit it is mostly daunting. Probably because the food is different, my body feels different, too. It is exhausting to have no respite from all that is unfamiliar, even inside myself.

    I sit here at my desk a stack of papers and notes next to me. It is printer paper, but a different shape (My PDFs run off the page on the long side and also leave a huge margin on one side along the short side…an annoyance to this recovering perfectionist and her like-minded children doing school on lopsided worksheets). Also, the pens have smaller ballpoints, so my handwriting looks a bit like someone else’s. That is supposed to mean something. Am even I so very different?

    I brought the most important pieces of the life we left behind with me: they are different, too. Rod has more confidence and purpose than I have ever seen in him and that changes my role in his life. We moved here with three “littles” and one very tall eighth grader. Now I am the mother of mostly high school and middle schoolers. Even our youngest will be hitting double-digits this month. All these new life phases are bombarding me each day without my permission. So much that is so different.

    The kids and I are working on putting together our own synoptic gospel as we study all four gospels together during our school day. As a part of that process we are re-watching The Chosen. If you’ve been following with this amazing show, you might recognize the bumper sticker phrases #LookUp or #ComeAndSee. During Season One, it was #GetUsedToDifferent. That is the part of the story we are in right now. And so I am. We are. We are all getting used to different.

    I fear my tone is–once again–desolate, sad, even whiney. That isn’t how I feel.

    Sometimes a fog sits heavy around me, yes. Sometimes I feel I’m just spinning my wheels trying to do the same things I’ve always done (cooking, cleaning, and working to develop and find meaningful outlets for my children’s amazingness)…even though that same thing I’ve always done is different here, harder.

    Still we plug away and find new blessings when we look for them. I’m certainly not doing it perfectly, but God loves me anyway. When I can see clearly, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

    God is too good,

    his world too wonderful,

    his work too astounding

    to stay in the fog when the sun is shining.

    Here are a few things that have me feeling blessed beyond measure recently:

    #1) Have you ever heard a seashell orchestra in real life? The way the waves catch the shells and then send them clinking together on the way back out is such a uniquely beautiful sound. I’d never heard it before, and it took my breath away. The whole earth sings praise. (The video doesn’t do it justice, but we tried…)

    #2) Baht are PERFECT for illustrating borrowing. Such a fun blessing as we wrapped up 3rd grade math and reviewed all the sticking points!

    #3) I caught these two spending quality time making music together. I was able to sneak the phone around the corner just in time to catch this. They are both shy to share these talents, but I pray they do this together more and more!

    #4) Isn’t this symbiosis of life so pretty?

    #5) These two American girls brought up the rear in the three legged sack race.

  • Family

    Celebrating Tallulah

    4 years ago, we met our Tallulah. When she first saw us, she ran away. When it was time to take her home, she kicked and screamed. When we got “home” to the little apartment we had rented, she was determined to keep her jacket and backpack on, ready to go at a moments notice. When it was time to go to bed, I laid beside her and watched huge crocodile tears roll down her face. When I laid my hand on her in an attempt to comfort her, she lifted it off and set it down on the bed beside her. She could not yet feel our love. She was so big and brave, and yet so tiny and broken.

    I think they quit shaving her hair at the orphanage when they knew she had a family coming for her, but–even though she was dressed in pink–other adoptive families asked if this was our “little guy.” So I was determined that our beautiful girl should have long hair, and kept at it for years even when we had to adjust our plans to accommodate Tallulah’s DIY haircuts.

    Last week, we celebrated Tallulah’s 14th Birthday, and our teenager got a new grown-up “do.” The gentleman who cut her hair was wonderful, and made her feel so so pretty!

    When we returned home, she was eager to show off her new hair and was excited by the surprises and celebration dad and her siblings had prepared while we were gone.

    But it’s this video that takes the cake…wait for the moment when she knows, for sure, that this song is all about her!

    Love sure looks good on her!