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Stinkfruit Stinks!
I just had Durian for the first time and it was awful. Durian is also called stinkfruit. The fruit has sharp spikes all over it so the people harvesting it have to wear protective gloves when they pull it off the tree. It has a gross, slimy texture and the smell of rotten fruit and garlic. The taste was the worst part though. It tasted a lot like it smelled but also like Tutti Frutti Ice-cream that has gone moldy with onions on top. It is by far the worst fruit I have ever tasted. People here seem to like it though, Dairy Queen even has a new blizzard here: Durian ice cream with black sticky rice and coconut cream. It was DISGUSTING.
If you ever get the chance to try a durian you totally should. Just keep a trash can handy.
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Nori Seaweed Chips (YUCK!)
I hate seaweed. I always have. It tastes like salt, ocean mud, fish pee, and grass. Oh wait! That’s what seaweed is! These chips tasted exactly like seaweed but saltier and they had more crunch. They were so gross. We couldn’t even finish the bag we just threw it away half full. These chips are everywhere and they seem to be a good seller. I cannot get my head around that. I can’t find anything in seaweed chips that strikes me as “Yum!” Do seaweed chips sound good to you? And if so, why!!!?
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Som Tam
Today I tried Som Tam. We ordered it on Food Panda and it came in this big bag, which is pretty normal in Thai delivery. Thai coffee shops often deliver their drinks in bags like these with a cup of ice next to them.
Som Tam is Thai Green Papaya Salad. It is usually made with unripe or green papaya, Thai chillies, garlic, peanuts, fish sauce, and limes. There are hundreds of other things you could add of course but those are the basic ingredients. This one also had shrimp, green beans, and tomatoes.
Som Tam is one of my dad’s favorite dishes. I loved the flavor. It was a perfect balance of sour papaya and vegetables. One thing they didn’t balance though was the spice level. My mouth was on fire. I was melting ice cubes in seconds by breathing on them. I could only take a couple of bites before my eyes started watering. I offered my sister, Selah, 5 baht (Thai currency. Only about 15 cents, but it goes pretty far.) if she would take a bite. One bite and she was tearing up too. The other thing off balance was the texture. It was crunchy and stringy and kept getting in between my teeth.
I would strongly suggest trying Som Tam, but when you do, order it “not spicy” or prepare for your last meal.
Part of the reason I wanted to order Som Tam is because I tried some potato chips a while back that were Charcoal Grilled Chicken & Som Tam flavored chips. The chips tasted like a BBQ chip at first but then I really got the chicken flavor. And then, when I swallowed the chip, the sour Som Tam flavor hit the back of my tongue. They really did taste almost exactly like Chicken and Som Tam.
P.S. My dad came home and tried the Som Tam and said it wasn’t the spiciest ส้มตำ (Som Tam) he has had. That made me a little mad.
P.P.S I was not lying about the 5 Baht (or Haa Baht). If the exchange rates are good, 35 baht is about one dollar.
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Road Trip Chips
Try saying that 5 times fast.
If you walk into any 7Eleven in Thailand there will probably be a whole row of potato chips. And there will probably be at least 25 different flavors that you would never find in America. But not all of them taste like Thai food. We found these two flavors at an 7Eleven on our trip to Myanmar (or how the Thai say it, PaMaa, or, พม่า,) and we had to try them. First we tried the double cheeseburger. No one in my family liked them. They tasted like over-peppered American cheese with a tiny bit of a pickle taste.
The Carbonara Parmesan weren’t bad but we don’t need to get them again. They taste like Carbonara (creamy spaghetti) with a ton of salt, a little lemon, and much more parmesan than I like.
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แมงมุม! (SPIDER!)
Living in Thailand has its privileges but it also has its downfalls: like sharing our home with unwanted guests. We have found countless geckos and ants in our kitchen, but everyone (in my family) can agree that geckos are better than these disgusting, eight-legged fiends that trespass into our dining room.
แมงมุม was very smart and hard to kill, even with the state-of-the-art bug smasher my mother created with my father’s shoe and a broom.
Somehow we got it trapped in a container and set it outside. And, while we were still freaking out, Dad came home, shook up the box, dumped the spider on the road, and stomped on it.
P.S. Just know that if God ever calls you to Thailand you will have unwanted critters in your house. No doubt about it.
P.P.S. My mom is not sure about the factual basis of that final statement. She still has hope that it is not true.
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Hot Chili Squid Potato Chips
My name is Josiah Keim and I am going to do my best explaining the complex and exotic flavors in Thai Food. Everything from Pad Thai to potato chips.
Speaking of, I tried the craziest flavor of potato chips today: Hot Chili Squid. They might sound gross but I kinda like them. So does my sister Tallulah. But she likes any flavor of potato chip. I tried tricking my siblings into eating them by saying they were Mae Ploy and Potato flavored. Surprisingly, when I tried them I felt like that is actually what I think they taste like. If you don’t know, (which is normal for most Americans), Mae Ploy is a Thai sweet chili sauce. You can buy it in the states and it is amazing with sticky rice and chicken. It isn’t too spicy and the flavor is delicious. My dad even put it on pizzas at our pub before we moved. The chips taste a lot like a raw potato that someone dipped in Mae Ploy, but there is also a salty seaweed taste at the back of my tongue.
Like I said, I like them, my sister Tallulah likes them, my dad hasn’t tried them yet but I bet he likes them. The rest of my family thinks they are disgusting but that is because they expected them to be gross. If you get rid of your expectations you may really like them.
